Before And After
by TheKoganKid
Summary: The first time they kissed, Jenko was upset because Schmidt was being a dick and Zack was being his usual geeky, charming self. They second time they kissed Jenko had just been shot and he was out of his entire fucking mind, but he couldn't blame it all on the medication. Only part of it. Jenko/Zack.


When the throwing star stuck forcefully to the wall, Zack, Roman and Delroy looked up at Jenko in shock. It was no secret that the man had an obvious set of muscles on him, but even for the smartest kid and geek, the sight of someone successfully throwing a ninja star was incredible. They were rendered speechless, blinking at Jenko with open mouths, and watched as he breathed in heavily through his nose.

Jenko didn't have the time to appreciate his victorious throw, though; his mind was reeling with a horrendous combination of rage, frustration, and a biting, aching sadness. Hearing Schmidt, of all people, taking a crack at him and whatever amount of sense he had was tearing him up inside.

"I'm going outside for a bit." Was the only explanation he gave to the other three, before heading through the door and out into the warm spring night.

He felt like he was going to be sick. The late night munchies he had had with the guys and the excessive amount of _Red Bull_ seemed like a very, very bad idea now that there was a possibility that it might end up on the sidewalk in front of him. And the light humidity lingering in the air wasn't helping at all.

Rain Man. Fucking _Rain Man_.

If either of them was Rain Man, it was Schmidt, and the two of them knew that, no matter who the hell they were pretending to be. Even if Jenko had to play the part of a fucking rocket scientist, and Schmidt was a Senior cheerleader stuck in ninth grade English, the shorter cop would still be Rain Man.

Jenko ran his hands through his slightly waving hair, leaning heavily against the side of the house, and he let Schmidt's words echo through his head over and over again like a scratched record.

A part of Jenko hated this entire thing; if the two of them had just learned the damn Miranda Rights, and had said them properly when taking down one of the gang members, they wouldn't be in this situation at all. But they were both morons, and had totally disregarded the most important part of being a police officer, and now they were stationed at 21 Jump St. with all of the other rejects and dumbasses.

But the other part of him knew that it was all karma- he had been a total dick to Schmidt in high school, and for that, he was now paying the price. With the roles reversed this time around, Schmidt was being the dick and Jenko was taking it quietly because there was nothing else to do. Any sort of disruption in their disguises would ruin the job, and they'd both be fired by their always-angry director.

Knowing that he had this coming didn't make it hurt any less.

Jenko hated being stupid, and worthless, and an all-around idiot who couldn't do anything for himself. He hated having to rely on Schmidt to do all of the common sense thinking, and only being capable of doing things that required physical action. It felt like Schmidt was the writer of the story, but was too afraid to take full responsibility for his brilliance, and Jenko had to stand in to put his ideas into gear. Schmidt was his ventriloquist and Jenko was his dummy.

The nausea rose in his stomach, and throbbed when a pinching sensation began to form behind his nose and prickle at his eyes. And with a jolt, Jenko realized that for the first time in seven years, he was going to cry. With real tears and shitty problems to cry about and everything.

But the sound of someone approaching him made him check back into place, and scrubbing furiously at his eyes, he willed the damn things to stay away for just another few minutes. As a head full of bouncing red curls walked towards him, Jenko sniffed quietly, looking down at his ridiculously priced shoes.

Zack quietly stood next to him, staring at the side of his face and tapping his fingers against his legs in an awkward sort of tick.

He breathed in uneasily. "Are you okay?"

Jenko didn't know why, exactly, but he found the question to be kind of funny. Maybe it was because the question was so pointless, and ironic.

So he chuckled a pointless, ironic chuckle.

"Not really, no."

Zack itched the back of his head in another nervous gesture. "Right. Stupid question. Just thought I'd ask."

"Thanks." Jenko replied quietly. He looked up at the teen from the corner of his eyes, and for some reason he found the way Zack felt both comfortable and uneasy around him endearing, and rather cute, and the revelation made his hands curl into fists inside of his jeans.

He also wanted to grin, because all of the extra snacks and energy drinks were making Zack act even more hyperactive than usual, and he could tell this by the way the other was bouncing on the balls of his heels.

"You're not like Rain Man." Zack blabbed, suddenly and without thought. "I mean, you're smart like Rain Man, and you do talk a lot, but really, you're not Rain Man in a bad way. I know that Doug meant to say you were Rain Man as a way of dumping on you, but you're not Rain Man, I promise."

When Zack flushed, due to his elongated speech and habit of never shutting the hell up, Jenko felt lighter than air and he grinned with all teeth at his friend.

"And even though you're a dork and one of the worst liars in the world, I would still take a lightsaber to the head for you." Jenko replied, bumping Zack with his hip.

The two fell into a rather comfortable silence, choosing instead to look up at the sky than at each other. Because if Jenko would have looked over at the teen and found the dopey grin on his face, he would have lost control by Zack's geeky charm. And if Zack had looked over at Jenko, the cop's face bathed in a combination of shadows and lamp light, he would have given into his sugar-induced insanity and jumped clumsily into his arms.

But the two ended up giving into temptation, and looked at each other at the same time, chests tightening due to the eye contact.

Zack was back to blurting things out. "You know, I've never kissed a guy. Or anyone, really. I've never kissed anyone at all. Or held hands with someone. Hell, I've never even had someone openly have a crush on me." He tittered anxiously. "Is that pathetic?"

"No." Jenko replied immediately. "But hey, I've never kissed a guy either, so we're on the same level."

The redhead snorted. "Well, that doesn't surprise me. You're a lady killer."

"Can't knock something until you've tried it."

That sounded a lot like a suggestion to Zack, and eyes widening, he gave his taller friend an imploring look. And shit, his palms were clamming up in an almost irritating way, and the neonic red sweater seemed like too much for the weather conditions, and his heart was beating wildly in his chest, but Zack couldn't care less.

"I haven't tried it, so I wouldn't know."

If Jenko weren't so enraptured by Zack at the moment, he would've rolled his eyes.

"We should fix that."

Jenko watched at Zack's eyes grew wide, pupils dilating, and he listened as the boy's breath hitched in his throat, and rules of Jump St. be damned- he wasn't letting go of this opportunity. If he got in trouble, then so be it.

Before he could lose the balls to, he swooped his massive-compared-to-Zack's body in closer to the other boy, and he kissed him for all that it was worth. It was awkward at first because Zack was so stiff from surprise, and squeaks were leaking out of his mouth and into Jenko's, but after a moment he began to soften. And throwing all caution to the wind, just as Jenko had, he all but melted against the police officer, feeling warm and smitten, and hard muscle beneath his groping hands.

Zack was delicate, untouched in Jenko's hold, and he couldn't choose where to put his hands. He ended up tangling them in his friend's sweet, spicy smelling curls, finger tips tingling at the softness of the ringlets coiling around the digits, and he used the hold on his head to better angle their mouths. They slotted together nicely- perfectly, even- and Jenko's everything tingled because Zack tasted like _Red Bull _and _Sour Patch Kids_ and innocence all wrapped up nicely with a bow on the top.

They were equally awkward and wonderstruck together, and that was what made the entire situation perfect.

A pair of surprised shouts broke them apart, the two yanking their lips away from each other in a very unwilling fashion, to find Roman and Delroy gaping at them. More than they had when Jenko had lodged the throwing star into the wall.

"Uh, er- we were j-just coming to make sure that you guys hadn't gotten mugged or anything-" Delroy started.

"But it looks like you've got it under control?" Roman finished, and it sounded as though he questioned this.

Absolutely nothing was under control. Both of their hearts were still racing away in their chests, breath ragged and hard to catch. Zack's hair was slightly mused, though it was difficult to tell because his hair went in random-assed directions, anyways, and was always messy. He was fawning over the fact that he had just had his first kiss (and with a guy, no less), and Jenko was flipping shit because he had just broken an important rule of Jump St. and was caught between not giving two fucks because Zack was almost painfully beautiful all of the time, and freaking out because it could mean the end of his career as a cop if anyone found out.

What came out of their mouths, though, instead of the truth was:

"Yeah. We've got it all under control."

xXxXxXx

He doesn't know why, exactly, but after arresting the supplier, Jenko found himself at Zack's front door. Maybe it's because he said "Fuck no!" when the nurse at the hospital suggested he stay over night, and now he's hopped up on painkillers. Or maybe it's because he thinks that the smaller redhead deserves an explanation for the entire thing. If their places had been switched, Jenko would be losing his mind at that moment trying to figure out why Zack had been in the midst of bullets and a high speed limo chase.

So he hardly thought about it when knocking on the front door, settling comfortably against the railing stretching across the porch, but when Zack appeared in front of him, tux off and pajamas in place, Jenko got butterflies. Because the kid was stunning no matter what he was wearing.

And the fact that Zack beamed at him with a sense of pride and accomplishment glowing from his entire body didn't help. At all.

"Hey, Brad." he bubbled, leaning against the open doorway. A comfortable light spilled from inside, warm and promising a _Star Wars _marathon (something Zack did usually when acing a test or hard assignment) as the credits blinked across the screen. The place reeked of microwave popcorn and opened _Diet Coke_.

Jenko couldn't think of anything to say, and whether it was because Zack always threw him off balance or because he just genuinely was at loss for words, he couldn't decide.

Explaining that you're an undercover cop wasn't something he planned on doing in his lifetime.

"My name's Greg." was what he finally decided on saying. "Greg Jenko."

The other boy didn't even look fazed.

"I figured that your real name wasn't Brad." he shrugged. "I just didn't know what else to call you."

Jenko nodded, and for the first time since meeting the kid, he noticed that he seemed to the be awkward one, and Zack was the one at ease with nothing better to do. Zack realized this, as well, and he stepped aside to let Jenko into his small but cozy home as a sort of peace offering.

The softness brittled slightly, though, when the shorter of the two caught side of Jenko's slung arm, and he swore softly, placing his hand on the cop's bicep.

"What the hell happened to your arm?"

Jenko winced slightly at the nerd's prodding fingers, but he didn't protest against Zack's concern. "Took a bullet for Schmidt. He was choking up as usual, and it was all going to hell-"

"Schmidt?"

"Doug." Jenko clarified.

Zack made a look of understanding by puckering his lips and eyebrows in a way that made Jenko feel winded. "Oh. That makes sense."

Jenko said nothing for a moment, content with watching as Zack fretted over his bullet wounds with surprisingly gentle caresses and pokes. He reminded him of a concerned mother, or caring boyfriend that was secretly pissed off at whoever hurt his loved one and- _what the hell was Jenko thinking about because Zack certainly wasn't his boyfriend_.

His heart squeezed painfully in his chest and he had to finally tear his gaze away from the other boy's face.

No, Zack, indeed, was not his boyfriend, and probably never would be. It would be too complicated- Zack was heading off to Yale in the fall, and Jenko would be off on some other case, and it would be too stressing for the younger male to have to be worrying about his safety all of the time. And long distance relationships hardly ever worked out, and especially so when there was seven year age difference between the two of them.

But a part of him was fighting the newly-found rationality within him, pointing out that Schmidt was now officially dating Molly despite their age difference and professions. They were working it out, Schmidt apologizing a million times for his asshole-ish actions during the case, and Molly slowly melting down into forgiveness.

Groaning softly, Jenko reached up to rub his eyes with his free hand, wishing for all that it was worth for the confusion and irritation and stinging to go away.

Thank God that Zack was as bright with both books and common sense, because instead of pressing Jenko for answers the cop didn't know how to give, he just smiled gently, moving his hands from Jenko's arm to behind his neck.

"You know, I never got to actually go to the prom and dance." Zack said pointedly, stepping closer to Jenko. "You went on that high speed chase and Cinnamon had to go back to work."

And suddenly, as if this had all happened years ago as it felt, the absurdity of what him and Schmidt had done came rushing back, causing Greg to laugh quietly.

"I'm sorry."

Placing his working hand on Zack's hip, Jenko pulled the eighteen year old closer and let the boy tuck into his side, both sighing in unison at the familiar comfort. Zack's hair still reeked of spices and Jenko was still as warm as a camp fire.

"I still want to see you after you get reassigned."

Jenko's head jerk downwards as Zack said this, the confession muffled by the fabric of his not-covered-in-blood shirt; but the redhead wasn't looking at him, instead choosing to burrow further into his chest.

"I don't want you to just disappear off of the face of the Earth." His voice was shaking, only slightly, but Jenko could hear it as though amplified by a megaphone and it went straight to his throbbing heart. "You're the only person I've really, really liked and gotten close to."

In another circumstance, Jenko would have thought Zack to be just another young kid, lending his love and compassion out like a library book in the way that teenagers foolishly do. But he didn't find the other to be naive, because he himself felt the same exact way. He was diving head first into some deep, troubling shit that could possibly make or break him, but Jenko couldn't find the strength to stop himself from kissing Zack's curls and saying:

"Me too." in a voice that was almost inaudible.

He felt Zack's lips curl into a smile against his chest, and his heart stuttered annoyingly as they continued to sweep very, very slowly and carefully around the living room with main title song of Star Wars playing in the background.

"It'll be hard." Jenko admitted. "It'll be shitty and hard and agonizing not being able to see each other and always having to wonder about what the other of us is doing or how we're doing."

"I know." Zack agreed.

"You'll have to call every night just to make sure I didn't get shot again or knock up some slutty college girl."

"I know."

Jenko's grin was beginning to poke out again. "And I'll have to make monthly trips to Yale just to make sure you're not failing classes because you've been daydreaming about me all day."

Zack laughed into his shirt. "I know."

"And I'm going to have to bullshit Schmidt and everyone else so my 'monkey-ass' doesn't get kicked off of Jump Street."

"I know."

"And-"

Zack's large but thin hand came out from behind his neck and clamped over Jenko's chattering mouth, successfully shutting him up."

"Jesus, Greg, I get it man." he bubbled with a radiant smile on his face. "It's going to suck most of the time. But I'm okay with that. Whatever it takes."

And Jenko was so happy that he couldn't come up with a response that didn't reflect on his internal stupidness. So instead he spontaneously dipped Zack with his only working arm, and kissed him deeply, saving the moment they'd had together in the back of his mind. Especially when Zack laughed again, the motion causing his lips to vibrate delightfully and tingle.

Zack finally told Jenko that he'd had his fill of dancing for the time being, and let the cop drop heavily onto his couch with his eyes drooping. The medication had started working and it was kicking his ass.

And the redhead was okay with this, because he still had a _Star Wars_ marathon to finish and Jenko made a pretty comfortable pillow.

Jenko was almost drifting off, good hand settled around Zack's side and settled on his stomach, when the boy asked him only one question related to his line of work.

"Do you think you'll ever use your hand cuffs on me when we're having sex?"

_**A/N: I've fallen in love with this couple and they're wiping the floor with my goo-gooing face. I'm sorry that I'm not sorry for this ridiculously long piece of shit that I decided was a good idea to write. **_

_**I should probably get some sleep before I do anything else on the internet that will come back to bite me in the ass like a hangover after New Years. **_


End file.
